Will Coronation Street’s Kirsty discover her wedding’s a sham?

Next week in Soapland, there’s a wedding day hitch, two love rivals face off, and a job interview has unexpected consequences…

Coronation Street

It’s the much-anticipated day of Tyrone and Kirsty’s wedding, and the groom’s a bag of nerves, knowing that the marriage is a sham. As Tyrone waits at the church, he starts to panic, fearing Kirsty may have smelled a rat. But when his bride finally arrives, looking pretty in purple, it looks as if his plan has worked.

Tyrone and best man Kirk await the bride’s arrival

Sadly, it’s all down hill from there, and by the end of the day the tables have turned horribly, as Kirsty discovers Tyrone was only marrying her in order to gain custody of their daughter Ruby.

Judging by the looks on their faces, you’d think it was a funeral!

As a furious Kirsty does her best lady-hulk-after-three-cans-of-Red-Bull impression, Tyrone attempts to stand up to her, calling her a vindictive bully. The couple trade insults on the stairs and, as Kirsty lashes out at Tyrone, she loses her balance and ends up in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the staircase.

The police come to take a statement from Kirsty in hospital

Despite being horizontal on a stretcher, Kirsty’s thinking on her feet – and by the time she arrives at hospital, the former WPC has devised a callous plan to use her accident to her advantage. Before long, the police are knocking at Tyrone’s door to investigate an allegation of assault…

Faye’s thrilled to be reunited with real dad Tim

In other news, Faye leaves adopted mum Anna distraught when she tracks down her real dad Tim over the internet. The schoolgirl’s delighted to have him back in her life, but Anna recognises a wrong ’un when she sees one and lays into Tim, telling him that if he contacts her daughter again she’ll have no choice but to alert the authorities. Unfortunately, Faye doesn’t take too kindly to her mum’s meddling…

Don’t be a gullible fool, Gail!

Elsewhere, devious puppetmaster Lewis continues to wrap Gail round his little finger. Having sold his Italian dream to her, he tells her that all they need now is a lump sum of cash for living accommodation. Will giddy Gail fall for his patter and part with her hard-earned cash? My buttocks are clenching just thinking about it…

Emmerdale

First it was boyfriend wars, as Alicia and Priya fought over becardiganed businessman David – now it’s job jousting, as the love rivals go head to head at an interview.

The clash comes after Vanessa encourages Alicia to apply for the new events job being advertised at Home Farm. Despite having no relevant skills or experience, the Woolpack cleavage queen gamely submits her CV and lands an interview.

Alicia spots an appealing opportunity in the local paper

But when she arrives at Home Farm, Alicia is horrified to find that arch enemy Priya has also been shortlisted. Alicia’s first to be interviewed and gives a plucky performance as she does her best to answer Megan’s questions honestly. Then it’s Priya’s turn and, after a shaky start, she soon has Megan eating out of her hand.

Priya faces Megan over the interview table

It’s Priya who eventually bags the job – but, realising Alicia desperately needs a break, she nobly tells Megan she can’t accept it due to family commitments, adding that Alicia would make the perfect replacement.

David inadvertently proposes to Priya

When Megan offers Alicia the job, she’s thrilled – and so too is David, who’s pleased to see his sort-of wife with a smile on her face for the first time in ages. Priya, meanwhile, is glad her decision paid off, but she can’t help feeling miffed that David’s so happy for Alicia. In an attempt to reassure his lover, David glibly tells Priya that if he could be married to her instead, he would be – a declaration Priya instantly takes as a marriage proposal. Oh, David, you and your big mouth…

Dom and Cain: who looks best in leather?

Elsewhere, the new-look Debbie Dingle continues her ruthless ascent up the career ladder, as she dumps Dom the minute she gets her hands on his client list. But the young businesswoman finds herself in a sticky situation when the courier finds out she double-crossed him. Fortunately, Cain’s on hand to protect his daughter from a vengeful Dom’s wrath.

Good old Sam offers Rachel support

In other news, Sam’s a tower of strength when Rachel panics about taking Archie home from hospital, and Moira’s evening at the farmers’ ball goes awry, when the sheep come down with a nasty infection, (talk about baa-d luck!).

EastEnders

Poor Tanya’s life was turned upside down on Christmas Day when Max’s secret wife Kirsty showed up – and next week, the Square love triangle takes another dramatic twist.

It’s the battle of the blondes, as Tanya confronts Kirsty

Fed up with Kirsty living a mere stone’s throw from her family, Tanya storms into the B&B, demanding to know the truth about her relationship with Max. When Kirsty taunts her about the kiss she shared with the used car salesman before Derek’s funeral, an understandably paranoid Tanya shoves the divorce petition into her hands and orders her to sign it.

Tanya suddenly feels nauseous

Moments later, Max barges in, demanding to know what’s going on – but Tanya can’t bear to look at the errant alpha-twit, never mind speak to him and storms out. When Max tries to go after her, Kirsty blocks his exit and seductively tells him she knows she’s the one he wants, before asking him to kiss her again. And when he refuses, the little saucepot decides to take matters into her own hands…

Kirsty throws herself at an unenthusiastic Max

Elsewhere, Dot’s in deep financial doo-doo – and when a pile of bills arrive on her doormat, she goes to confront Cora about her rent arrears. Keen to get back in Dot’s good books, Cora offers to share her shifts at the launderette – an offer Dot doesn’t hesitate to accept. Back where she belongs, Dot is soon getting ‘her’ establishment shipshape again, and it’s not long before Mr Papadopoulos offers the service wash saviour her old job back. Hurray!

Dot regains control of the launderette

In other news, Denise gets an interview for the regional manager’s job. That’s the good news. The bad news is, so does Zainab – and she really, really wants it. It’s the cue for tabards at dawn and some very unladylike behaviour…

Zainab and Denise: two women, one job

What do you think of this week’s storylines? Let us know below.