Roxy and Jack give in to passion as their court case looms in EastEnders

Next week in Soapland, there’s illicit passion, three brawls, an abandoned baby, and a ruined wedding dress…

EastEnders

That’s how passion always starts, with omelette and chips

Jack and Roxy face each other in court to fight for custody of Amy – but that doesn’t stop them falling into bed with each other the night before. Standards, people, please! After regretting the increasing bitterness between them, it was only inevitable they would find their way into each other’s arms for a pre-court contretemps, but in the cold light of the next morning, they both agree it was a mistake.

Roxy perfects her legal pout. The lawyer fails dismally

And the passion of the night before doesn’t stop Roxy playing dirty in court – her legal team bring up things about Jack and his family he’d probably rather forget – including his time as a policeman, his strange work routine, Penny’s accident and the dodgy nature of his boxing gym. It doesn’t seem to matter as the judge announces who will get custody of Amy – setting the Square’s two biggest families at war with each other – with poor Abi and Jay caught in the crossfire. It’s like Romeo and Juliet, but decidedly less glamorous.

Lucy adds a touch of colour to Mandy’s bland dress

As Ian and Mandy continue to plan their wedding, Ian chooses his best man and Lucy continues to do what she can to come between the couple – including instigating throwing drinks at Mandy’s wedding dress and instigating a big scrap. Nice. Realising she needs to make amends with Lucy, Mandy takes Dot’s advice and opens up to her about her past. But instead of putting Lucy’s mind at rest, Mandy makes Lucy yet more suspicious when the teenage detective finds texts on Mandy’s phone from a mystery texter…

Quick, someone suggest a tension-breaking game of Twister

Elsewhere, Rose is unimpressed with Andrew’s choice of future wife, and makes her feelings very clear to Heather. But will Heather stand up to her future mother-in-law? And which unlikely resident of Albert Square will become their wedding planner?

Possibly not the best first-date behaviour, Kim

And still fighting her feelings towards Ray, Kim organises a last minute date which doesn’t quite go the way she wants…

Emmerdale

Chas and John take their snogging on tour around the village

Everyone in the village seems to be fighting like cats in a bag next week – and it’s all because of John and Chas’s proto-affair – and the fact that they keep driving around in John’s car, snogging each other in broad daylight, in plain sight of just about everyone. The trouble really starts when Adam confronts Aaron over Chas’s behaviour.

Brawl 1: Aaron and Adam take their beef to The Woolpack

Aaron tells him it’s none of his business – and they soon start taking lumps out of each other, only stopped by the intrepid Marlon. John is spurred into action on seeing the fight – and tells Chas he’s filing for divorce.

Brawl 2: looks suspiciously like interpretive dance

When he later tells Moira the news, she’s shocked into silence, and seeks comfort from Marlon. Meanwhile, Chas and John are enjoying getting to know each other better, egged on by Gennie and the recently-honeymooned Charity. The only person sounding a note of caution is Diane. But of course, Chas ignores her – and excitedly goes to the farm for some afternoon delight with John (bleurgh). But at the last minute, John can’t go through with it – and claims he still loves Moira. But even if he loves her, can he ever forgive her?…

Val and Pollard home and happy. Oh, wait…

And can Val make it up with Pollard and Amy next week? Hm, doesn’t look like it when her behaviour veers alarmingly from nice to nasty and back again. First she goes on a mission to track Amy down – and finds her at the Dingles with a mysterious black eye. She’s shocked by Amy’s appearance and loses it with her, then makes it up with her and demands she move back home – and then vows revenge on Pollard for almost making them lose Amy.

…it all ends in tears as Val takes off

She suggests a trip to Portugal for them all to see Paul, but her plan backfires when Pollard realises she’s intending to go without him. She leaves anyway – and Diane, Pollard and Amy are stunned at Val’s venom against Pollard as she heads out defiantly and gets in the taxi, saying goodbye as Pollard pleads with her not to go…

Elsewhere, Nicola is drunk with power, like a cut price Alexis Carrington-Colby. She tells Rodney to pay back the money and tells Carl she could still turn him in to the police. Rodney eventually agrees to hand over the money to Jimmy, but tells him it comes with a few demands…

Coronation Street

Carla and Peter’s relationship gets off to a frosty start

Carla’s trying to get her life back on track next week – but is thrown by a horrible confrontation at the factory. Meanwhile, Peter has problems of his own when he learns Simon is in trouble at school.

…and Simon makes his feelings known

Trying to find a solution, Peter tells her they should move away. But Simon is acting up at home as well – and turns on Carla when she shows up at the door. Carla asks Peter if they’ve done Simon damage, and if being with her is a mistake. But what will he say?…

Watch that one – she’ll fiddle with your thermostat

There’s no harmony at no.13 for Steve and Tracy. With Tracy still refusing to move out, Steve is forced to use the bathroom at the Rovers. But Tracy isn’t taking this lying down and starts blaring music out of her flat. Can two play at this game? Er, probably – after all, they’ve been doing it for about 473 years already. Later, Steve turns off Tracy’s electricity – and she fights back turning down his heating to zero. Will Steve crack under the pressure? Will we?

Rosie is torn between Jason and a dodgy reality TV show

And it looks like it’s goodbye to Rosie next week. After blaming Jason for her losing the road safety campaign job, Jason himself also gets fired when Owen sees the story in the newspaper. But good fortune is smiling on Weatherfield’s glamour-puss when she gets a call from her agent to tell her she’s been asked to screen test for a new reality show.

…and it’s a tearful farewell for one of them

When she lands the job, she tries to get out of her relationship with Jason – but he’s adamant he’s moving to London with her. Will she break his heart?…

Katy reaches the end of her tether with Joseph

Elsewhere, baby Joseph is causing sleepless nights for Chesney and Katy – and it’s starting to show. Katy is constantly snapping at Ches – and he’s worried that the constantly crying baby is too much for her to cope with. When she later realises she’s late with the rent, she leaves Joseph alone at home and heads to the bank. But will Chesney find out what she’s done? (I’m guessing ‘yes’).

What do you think of next week’s soap storylines? Let us know below.