Phil and Shirley come to blows – is it love on the rocks?

This week, Phil and Shirley come to blows, Sophie Webster takes a drunken tumble, Kylie offers her fiancé for cash, and Cain turns psycho (surprise, surprise)…

EastEnders

Phil presents Shirley with a flashy engagement ring, which immediately makes her eyes narrow in suspicion: he must have a guilty conscience – and it doesn’t take much working out to realise the wicked Glenda is involved somehow.

Not realising he’s on wafer-thin ice with his rasping blonde bombsite blushing bride to be, Phil cancels lunch with Shirley and, increasingly suspicious, she follows him to the club, where she overhears him talking to Glenda about their affair.

When she confronts him, Phil tries to reason with her (has he not met Shirley before?) but she belts him around the face in typical style before he can answer properly, and then lays into Glenda.

And that’s not the end of poor Glenda’s woes – Ronnie is afraid she’s guessed her baby swap secret and tells Phil that they need to get rid of her. Surely not…permanently?

And as the Shirley/Phil wedding looms, will the unlucky groom be jilted at the altar, red-faced and rasping? Try to ‘sort that’ if you can, Mr Mitchell.

Meanwhile, Jane accuses Ian of taking her for granted, and is stunned when Ian walks into the Vic with a cake with ‘will you marry me – again?’ written on it. Will Jane agree? No, Jane – don’t do it! Surely once married to Ian Beale is enough for anyone.

Coronation Street

Sophie takes a tumble. Please try to land on Tracy Barlow.

Sian returns from her break with a set of holiday snaps that set Sophie reeling – is it the end of their relationship? The pair row over Sian’s decision to go home and an emotional Sophie takes to the cobbles, bottle in hand and tears clouding her eyes.

She makes her way to the church brimming with anger, where an encounter with the pastor leaves her life literally hanging in the balance…

Young Kylie hasn’t exactly let the grass grow under her feet – in a few short months she’s sold her baby, blackmailed her sister, become a Tenerife cage dancer and got engaged to Weatherfield’s least favourite person. All very admirable achievements, but now she’s going one stage further: trying to broker a deal to marry David off to desperate Xin for two grand, even though she’s only just agreed to marry him herself.

Afraid of Xin getting involved with the loathsome pair, Tina suggests an alternative plan of her own: Graeme should marry Xin. Of course! It makes, um, perfect sense.

Tina and Graeme are then forced to beg David and Kylie to keep quiet about their arrangement with Xin – but will they agree? I’m guessing probably not.

Meanwhile, Audrey‘s horrified when one of her elderly clients dies under the drier while she’s busy gossiping. The death leads her to a momentous decision that will shake the Platt family to its core. That’s right, she’s finally going to have those roots touched up.

Emmerdale

Nikhil stares longingly at a half-eaten sausage roll.

Even though blabbermouth Cain told Jai all about Charity‘s past as a prostitute, Jai still hasn’t run away. In fact, he and Charity agree to put the past behind them. So Cain changes tactics…

He turns on Nikhil instead, telling him he’d better get his brother to keep his hands off Charity. And just to – rather unsubtly – underline his point, he ties Nikhil up, gags him, and dumps him in one of the factory’s industrial bins – always a good tactic when you’re trying to win someone’s heart.

Jai then tries to buy Cain off, but this backfires – and it’s left to Charity to humiliate Cain in the pub, accusing him of being less of a man that Jai. Cain is still determined, so he sends Charity a beautiful new dress and arranges for her to go on a mystery date at a flashy hotel. Imagine her surprise when Cain is lying in wait for her in the hotel room…

What do you think of this week’s soap storylines? Let us know below.

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